Following our loss of the Tottenham Hotspur ground-share contract, life in Eaton Bray can now return....
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Eaton Bray Lawn Tennis Club

Posted on May 6, 2011

This article was published in May 2011. Please see Latest News for more recent information.

Eaton Bray Lawn Tennis ClubFollowing our loss of the Tottenham Hotspur ground-share contract, life in Eaton Bray can now return to normal; there being no need to widen School Lane, park Alan Sugar’s multi-axle caravan on Moor End, or evict the Wigleys' ducks to live with ‘Arry Redknapp and his newly acquired orange grove.

It was all going according to game-plan until our Vietnamese lawyer, Phut Pholt, ran off with all our money. We suspect there’s a racquet going on between him, our Russian lawyer Braikov Zerve, and his assistant Annette Call who have been taking backhanders. It’s their fault, due to their unforced errors they’ve sold us down the line, and there’s no love lost. We’ll see them in court, appoint a receiver and smash the underhand service they’ve given us in a single stroke. There can only be one winner whatever spin they might serve up, and they won’t return to poach from us again. Let that be a lesson to them. Five years in the grand slammer would be ace. Or even double.

Meanwhile on planet Earth: Membership renewal is going well for 2011, and eight lucky members have been awarded the opportunity to buy Wimbledon tickets through the annual club draw! They will be heading down to SW19 in June with their scrumptious picnics and hopes for a British victory. Well at least the picnics won’t disappoint. Coaching continues to thrive, and we’re delighted that club coach that Sara Leavy had passed her NVQ Level 2 – congratulations Sara! Dates have been arranged for some Junior Matches, and we’re introducing a Girls under 16 team and a Mixed under 9 team, plus two Boys under 12 teams. Competition for places will be rife, and there’s always room for more juniors who’d like to be considered, so if you’d like to play some fun tennis this summer, get in touch with us, or ask your parents/guardians to call us for you!

Or... come up to our Play Tennis Day on Sunday 15th May, just a few days from when you’ll be reading this! Adults and youngsters are all welcome, just come and knock a few balls about with some of our members and see if you like it! There’s absolutely no commitment, and we’ll even provide you with a racquet, tea or coffee, and biscuits. It runs from 11.30am until 2pm so you can put the Sunday roast on, pop up to the courts for an hour, have a knock around and build up an appetite for lunch. What better way to earn your roast dinner on a warm May Sunday morning (we hope)!

Finally, our club competition kicks (sorry serves) off soon, which will see various matches played over the next four months culminating in our Grand Finals Day on Saturday 10th September. This is always an excellent day at the courts, where the sun usually shines, the crowd relaxes on a various assortment of garden furniture, and the barbecue gently sizzles, sending an aroma of burnt sausages wafting over the green.

Worth putting in your diaries now, and booking your summer holidays around it. To quote one EBLTC member: “I’d rather spend an extra couple of grand and go during the school holidays, than miss our club Final’s day”. So there’s one that will definitely be there (providing the authorities have let him out by then).

For any further information about the club, including when we get together for our social tennis sessions up at the School Lane courts, or our various activities, you can visit our website at

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