Eaton Bray Lawn Tennis Club

Posted on June 12, 2008

OK so I've been rumbled. I admit here and now that maybe I allowed my journalistic juices to run a little out of control in my last article. Let me explain.

When I reported that the lady at the party (to celebrate my homecoming, or the chairman's birthday, I'll let you decide which one it was..) asked me to sign my Focus article for her, she didn't actually say, in as many words, 'Would you please sign this for me'?

What she actually said was more along the lines of, well nothing. It was me who said to her, in a somewhat pleading voice, 'Would you like me to sign that for you'? Or it might have been 'Please please can I sign it for you in front of all those people'? So I did, somewhat lavishly.

I have to reveal the truth this month because a little bird, who was listening in to our conversation, has told the Chairman who in turn has threatened to ban me from public office if I don't say what really happened. So I'm happy to set the record straight, and to assure everyone that I've put a contract out on that bird. No one likes a grass.

The recent heat wave has resulted in a queue to use the tennis courts! Last Sunday morning there were far more players than places available for them to stand (unless you put eight on each court and it gets confusing then, and it's really difficult to keep the score). So we had players sitting out occasionally so that everyone had a chance to play a few games. We'd decided to have a barbecue at the courts that morning, so as our exhausted members crawled off court, heavily perspiring in the baking heat, there was a cool glass of squash and one of my infamous burgers or hot dogs awaiting them!

There was the option of sizzling onions and several tasty sauces to complement the main meal; needless to say once a burger or two had been consumed it soon solved the problem of too many people on the courts. Most participants then just collapsed into a chair and sat in the sunshine watching the die-hards on court one finish their set. It proved a mammoth game, taking nearly an hour for Peter Hale and Ross Bagni to narrowly defeat Jon Moon and Simon Mitchener by six games to four. By then unfortunately all the burgers had been eaten, but there were plenty of onions left over, at which they unceremoniously turned up their noses. Can't please some people...!

The next outing for the barbecue will be on Saturday 21st June at our annual Play Tennis Day, and it's open to everyone to come along and try out some tennis for free.

Running from around 11am, we'll have both Fastest Serve, and Longest Rally Against the Coach competitions. Think I'll blindfold him to give everyone a chance. Racquet Sports Direct will be there with tennis racquets to try out and maybe buy, together with clothes and shoes at discount prices. With half price membership for any new members joining on the day, plus did I mention the barbecue, there can be no better way to spend an hour or two on the 21st. We look forward to seeing as many villagers there as we can squeeze onto the Green!

And finally Cyril. Can I pass on my congratulations to all Portsmouth FC supporters in the villages after I was lucky enough to witness their magnificent FA Cup victory against Cardiff at Wembley? A very well deserved victory, we can be very proud of our club! Oh by the way, if Cardiff won I'm sorry, but I had to get this article in the week before the final. I'm sure it'll all be fine. I did go along to a clairvoyant's convention to try to find out who will win, but it had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

For any further information about the club, including when we get together for our social tennis sessions up at the School Lane courts, or our various activities, please call either Chairman Ross Bagni, Coach Nick Boys, or if they're all out and I'm not banging my drum shouting 'Play Up Pompey', me, Andy Cross using the contact page.

Source: Focus, June 2008